Failure or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Enjoy My Year
Long time no read.
As you might’ve guessed, my quest to watch one film a day in 2025 did not end in glory. At the time of writing, I have logged 188 films this year. Six months of a film every day. Quite an amount. Nowhere near my good friend Lily, who has surpassed three hundred for the year, but still an amount.
When marathoners describe “The Wall”, the point at which you can’t psychologically continue to run but push ahead anyway, I’m sure they’ll look on me with disdain as I attempt to use that term for my own pathetic ends. My “wall” was Fargo, a film I know well and enjoy. But when I noticed myself not smiling or laughing at jokes I love, I knew I was defeated. The point of this challenge was no longer celebrating the art I love. It had become a numbers game. Chasing the ’365 films logged this year’ on Letterboxd instead of expanding my horizons, taking inspiration or even enjoying myself.
So I gave it up.
The period after this intense watching regime was depressive. The challenge was the first thing people asked about when they saw me. They were impressed that I had kept it up, always asking what I had watched that day. They kept asking after I stopped though and I had to be reminded of my failure every time. I struggled for motivation, both for the stuff I needed to do and my passions. I stopped writing the blog. I stopped watching. I stopped enjoying myself.
But I don’t consider this year a failure.
My fledgling film career has taken its first steps. This year I have:
- gone back to film school
- shown my debut short at two different events
- worked on my second independent feature film (my first credit as an AD)
- shot a music video
- been cast as the lead actor in a close friend’s graduate film
And that’s without mention of the very blog you’re reading. No Backstories is one of the best things I’ve ever done, certainly one of the longest lasting. I’ve received many compliments and kind words about my writing, introduced my friends, family and even strangers to films that they never would’ve seen otherwise. However annoyed I am that I couldn’t keep up with my film challenge, I’m proud of all I’ve achieved this year.
What’s next for the blog and for me?
The blog will stay put. I don’t have any intention to stop writing about film. The challenge, One Film a Day, looks unrealistic going into the next year. I’ve got much to do next year, with film school and personal projects, that it looks unfeasible. Maybe a new challenge is in order? Something equally as difficult, but less time intensive? I’ll get back to you on that.
There’s a period every year where I catch up on all the “big hitters” I’ve missed. I call it Zeitgeist Week and it happens every December, in preparation of everyone’s end of year lists. Expect a few posts about films from the past year I’ve missed.
The film career is going well, but I want to do even more. Make another film, write more scripts, get time on set. Keep the momentum going and allow it to influence the rest of my creative outlets. I’m knocking on the door and I feel my time is soon.
Thanks for reading, esteemed friends. Your support and time mean everything to me. I can’t wait to share with you into the new year. I hope you stick around to see.
Lots of love,
Joe/Joseph/Bronson/No Backstories/The Yuletide Youth/Grink/St Nick’s Bastard Son/Reindeer-breath